I’ve started to forget what we’ve even been talking about these past few days, it’s all just inconsequential topics and meaningless banter, it all feels so important, yet I don’t remember it. Sometimes it dawns on me, something we talked about some days ago suddenly burrows its way into my thoughts as we’re talking about something tangentially related, or I suddenly remember it at night while trying to sleep and let out a chuckle or two. I couldn’t remember any conversation I’ve had with her, but they have all been endlessly imprinted upon me at a subconscious level. I’ve seen her react to my words, stare at things that pique her interest, look away when thinking, hide behind her bangs… 


I’m worried I have been irreversibly changed without my knowledge. And I’m worried I may not have the hindsight, knowledge, or intellect, to figure out whether or not this is a bad or good thing.
There’s never been anyone else on this station that had ever held interests similar to mine. I was under the impression that you could have friends even if you liked different things, but then I noticed I didn’t have any friends; regardless of whether or not we liked similar or different things. Not that I got bummed out, I’d always work alone thanks to the ineptitude or lack of overlapping skillsets of other people. I’m aware that it gets to your head, I started taking administrative and executive actions I never should have, and whenever I realized I shouldn’t be taking those types of decisions, I realized I was so far detached from whoever I was working with that they just were completely incapable of understanding what I was doing. I’d gone to the sidelines and forced myself to act merely as support to prevent myself from being overbearing, and my reward was being treated as if I hadn’t done anything, forced to be as useless as the people who couldn’t have done anything without me.
But she’s different. I like working with her, I like watching her work, I like having her watch me work. I like talking with her about inconsequential things, I like forgetting about these things immediately after we talk, it’s not like small talk with a co-worker or a stranger, the kind of worthless, ephemeral chat you forget within the minute you stop talking and never remember in your life. I’m sure, certain, absolutely convinced, that the difference between her and others is the irreparable mutations she has done to me. I could talk to a thousand people and remain unchanged… or talk with her for 15 minutes and be in a better mood for the rest of the week. But this… psychological mutation of sorts… has brought sorrow too. While her continued presence fills me with joy, it is stripped from me the moment she’s away from me. 

-	“Chief?” Juno’s voice snaps me out of my trance, I was holding documents in my hand, but none of the words were sticking, it’s like they’re not even words anymore, just a bunch of squiggly lines. 
“You okay?” I lay the papers on the table and give up on remembering what I was doing in the first place.
-	“Yeah, just— kinda tired. I feel like all I do is read.” My body automatically stretches and contorts trying to get some of the air pockets in between my bones to pop for some sort of relief which I do not find. She seems to chuckle at it, finding it humorous in some manner I do not quite understand.
-	“Perhaps I should massage your back.”
-	“I’ll take you up on that offer.” I take off my lab coat and unzip my tracksuit, just enough to grant easier access to my bare shoulders.
I keep waiting for her hands to ease some of the stiffness, but nothing happens.
-	“Hurry up already, weren’t you going to—” I look over to her and notice she’s wide-eyed, holding her fist to her face, covering her mouth with her knuckles. “Oh for crying out loud, why are you getting bashful all of a sudden?”
-	“I’m not— I’m really not! It’s just, you know?” Her hands go all over the place, gesturing her formless ideas and panic, it’s just like when I met her.
Say, doesn’t she seem quite… on the defensive? I’ve been on the receiving end of endless teasing for a while now, shouldn’t I be allowed to have some fun as well?
-	“Fine then, geez. Just say you don’t like me.” I slowly reach for my tracksuit, mimicking the motions of someone about to put their clothes back on.
-	“N-nonono, wait, just wait a second!” She’s really panicking now, it’s adorable, I could watch her for hours on end if she was like this all the time. “H-hey! You’re smiling!”
-	“Am I～?” I turn around by pivoting on the swivel stool, standing up in front of her and locking eye contact with my victim. “Aren’t you curious to see what I’m wearing under?” This’ll get you! For all those times you’ve teased me!
-	“I do!” She exclaims
-	“What?”

        

          
            “Wha-?” I jolt forwards, my left eyelid only halfway open.
          
        
        
-	“Chief? You okay?” I hear Juno direct her voice to me, she’s next to the file cabinets doing God knows what. Which means I’m in the storeroom…. Which means I’m in the storeroom chair.
-	“Why am I in the storeroom chair?” I don’t even look down to check where I’m sitting, I just know.
-	“You were dozing off on the workbench so I put you there just so you wouldn’t accidentally slip and crack your skull open or something.” I’m still recovering from my dream… Ah, yeah, my dream. What a slut. Never thought my subconscious would be that fucked up.
-	“You’re very thoughtful, but check your wording next time, you make it sound like you want to kill me.”
-	“Okay～” Her stupid smile shines through, I like it better that way, when she smiles.
-	“You look as stupid as in my dream.”
-	“You were dreaming about me?”
-	“Yeah.”
-	“…”
-	“What?”
-	“Nothing, just… I thought you’d get embarrassed.” Her voice is drier than usual, it’s pretty fun when she gets slightly more serious, her facial expression changes slightly… Speaking of her face…
-	“Hey, come here for a second.” She doesn’t really question it other than giving it a weird look and a raised eyebrow in suspicion, and before I know it she’s in front of me. “Bend, your face’s too damn high up.”
-	“Like this?” She brings her face closer to where I’m sitting, and I hold her face between my index finger and thumb, swinging it around to scan her facial features. “W-woah, Chief? Ask me on a date first…” She lets out a creepy panic laugh.
-	“Be quiet for a moment…”
 I see a lot of more details from up here, details I hadn’t seen before, details I’d been begging to get, I believe. I hadn’t done anything new with her in a while, I hadn’t learnt anything about her, it felt a bit stagnant and I was okay with it since, well, stagnation is required sometimes, just to keep everything in order… 
I didn’t know her face was so smooth, so pale. Her eyes are a deep brown, not just black, that’s only because of the pupil dilation. Her nose is really pretty, she has such a long face for such a happy person. 
“Your face… was totally wrong in my dream… You were missing this mole under your eye.” My voice is still a bit groggy, I should get some water.
-	“Y-you say that as if you saw my face up close in your dream, Chief.”
-	“Yeah, so I did.” While the weak muscles that compose my body require cybs to function, there’s one advantage— albeit a double-edged one— about being an Orbit-Borne. You flush pretty easily, turns you red as the national banner when you’re embarrassed… I know she’s red because she suddenly went from gray to pink. But I also know my face’s temperature is substantially above average at the moment. “Did you get any work done while I was asleep, Niúquǎn?”
-	“…No, chief.”
-	“Why is that?”
-	“…I was too busy watching you sleep.”
She got meek again, just like in the dream. She never gets meek anymore, she’ll tease me and then talk her way out when she pushes my buttons too hard, and I forgive her every time because she’s damn good at the word game. But now her voice’s all soft, she’s looking away from me, but every now and then she tries to catch a gaze of my eyes. 
She’s been teasing me endlessly, she’s clearly never had anyone spend so much time with her, and she’s been working every day at my office, she’s always smiling at me, always helping me. She got upset when she thought there was a chance I’d not be friends with her. But she didn’t get the answer she wanted. She carried me, all the way from the workbench to this chair I’ve hidden in my storeroom just to fall asleep on whenever there’s a particularly slow day…. And just… watched me sleep? The bashfulness is just the nail in the coffin…
-	“You like me…” I blurt out without thinking, I’m unsure where my eyes are even looking, it’s towards her general direction, but I’m not quite focusing on anything.
-	“What?” She jolts back, now finally staring at me. The red on her face only brightens as she pleads her case. “No! I mean— yes! But- But not in that way! It’s just, you know! You’re kind and a good boss! And- And, well, anyone would like a good boss, right?”
I follow her antics, I forgive her for all the teasing she’s done— tough luck, huh? …she said, when I refused to call her something cute… That entire conversation hinged on the fact I felt somewhat guilty maybe she didn’t like the shoddy name I gave her. For the love of God, I dreamed about her just now! I wanted to know more about her, I’ve always wanted to know more about her, since the first day I saw her, I’ve been spectating her, and every day I’d get closer and observe her from nearer and nearer. At this rate I’m going to end up examining her physically… Great Heavens above… I’m absolutely infatuated with her, aren’t I? This isn’t just some pet or some science project anymore.
-	“Come here.” My voice is the most mellow I’ve ever heard it come out of my throat. I pat on the chair as I scoot over and leave a little room for her to sit. I think she was saying something, but I didn’t quite catch it. She does as I say whenever I’m too stern with her, I feel like could abuse that… but… I don’t know, I don’t really get it… but I just don’t want her to— No, it’s like… I want her to do so voluntarily.
-	“Chief— you’re- you’re uh… you’re acting really weird today…” She nervously laughs as she slowly sits next to me, trying to give me as much space as possible. Not like it matters, since I immediately sit on her lap instead. “Uh?” She’s completely frozen up, stiff like a rock, wholly uncomfortable to sleep on.
-	“Loosen up, you’re not being a good pillow.”
-	“Wh-what? Oh- uh, Okay?” She tries to loosen up, but she’s not very good at it.
-	“…Well, you’ll have time to learn.” I rest my head on her shoulder, we won’t be able to see our faces this way. “You didn’t do any work at all today, right?”
-	“N-no…”
-	“I see. I haven’t either.”
-	“What’s— What do you mean by that? Is there some sort of meaning behind it?”
-	“I think I like you.”
-	“What?” She stiffens up, obscuring our faces like this will work in my favor, mostly.
-	“I’ve been thinking about you for weeks now… I’m not even sure how many weeks I’ve done so anymore. I think about you when I get to the office and when I go to bed. I have to force myself to write about the work I’ve done on my diary to delude myself into… into…? Something or another. I forgot…” … “What about you? I think you like me as well.”
-	“Well— It’s just… you know, you’re my employer? I guess? I’m not sure how to feel in this scenario.” Even without looking at her face I can feel her eyes darting around… That and, I just noticed— I can very clearly hear this dork’s heartbeat from here, and she probably doesn’t even know it. It’s pumping like crazy… But I think so is mine, so I can’t really call victory here.
-	“You’re such a coward! Take some responsibility.” I pretend to punch her stomach, but it’s just a tap really…  slowly dozing off, my strength wanes. “You were the one teasing me all day long.”
She doesn’t even fabricate any discernable linguistic product, it’s just gibberish…